Carrie Olaje | Surviving Satanic Ritual Abuse, Mind Control Programing, & Human Hunting Parties
FS 8The Higherside ChatsApr 19, 2025
Summary
In this episode, Carrie Olaje shares her harrowing experiences with satanic ritual abuse and mind control programming. She reveals insights into alleged human hunting parties and the darker side of occult practices. Listeners are taken into a world of trauma and resilience as Olaje recounts her journey of survival against these heinous acts.
Key takeaways
- 1Carrie Olaje discusses surviving satanic ritual abuse.
- 2Olaje shares experiences with mind control programming.
- 3The episode delves into the phenomenon of human hunting parties.
- 4Insights into occult practices are presented.
- 5The long-term effects of trauma from such abuse are explored.
Source
▸Transcript
The planet's puppet masters almost surely have a plan There's clearly maybe something there beyond the realm of man And until we've thoroughly tested every last close-chested view I find the more we think we know, the less we really do Oh, Greg Carlwood and... It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, people. From the Sunshine State, I'm Greg Carlwood. And it's not hard to imagine how dark things get in the shadows. Just knowing about the mindset of psychopaths, the bizarre occult belief systems out there The depraved nature of a limitless lifestyle And the long-standing practices of control by blackmail Are enough to imagine every boundary pushed and every sick fantasy fulfilled And sadly, it seems that those who would tinker under the hood of the human mind Learned that it's not that hard to engineer obedience, control behavior Or even fracture a person into various splits and alters Especially if you start young And while the MKUltra program might not be around anymore in name Its techniques and practices have been instituted across all strata of society And if the survivors of such abuse are to be believed An interlocking network of cults, military intelligence, and well-connected families Still exist today where children seem to be essentially farmed For a wide variety of depraved uses from snuff films and hunting parties To demonic communications and assassination programming Well, today we're talking to Carrie Olahay Who is just such a person Born into a family of multi-generational pedophilia and incest She was locked into a life of control and abuse from the very beginning And has seen and experienced more than anyone should Now she speaks out on her YouTube channel about her story As a way to help others out there understand they're not alone And through studying the wider scope of these sorts of things She's learned a lot about the history of these practices How these techniques work And how to heal So let's go The child abuse survivor Occult network revealer And ritual trauma healer Carrie, welcome to THC Thank you so much, Greg I'm really, really happy to be here today Yeah, this is a wild one This came about in a strange way Because I sent out a mass email To everyone who's been a PLUS member For over three years And you responded to that Telling me a little bit about your story And then Gray From the Gray Area Monarch interview Told me that he knows you as well And finds you to be another highly credible example Of a trauma-based mind control experiencer And here we are I have been completely shell-shocked By the things that I've heard you talk about In your experiences I mean, I'm kind of numb to this stuff After a decade of hearing all sorts of nasty stuff In your case, the abuse came largely from your father And I understand he worked in a medical capacity Within the military Can you give us some more context For this family you were born into And where in the governmental hierarchy Your father was working? Yeah, definitely So both of my parents were military My mother was herself a victim Of generational abuse She kind of came from a very impoverished area In Indiana She enlisted at 17 Just to kind of get out of the area So she plugged herself in early To the whole military system She enlisted in the Army My dad was pretty much the same He enlisted in Arizona, actually Realistically, they were not high up at all In the military They both retired Sergeant First Class, basically Both of them in the same field They were in the medical side of things So my mom mainly worked with children Ironically enough And she's a wonderful person Who's actually been very supportive In my whole healing And very validating And getting a lot of information about my past But, you know, she worked with kids That were having difficulties Which is part of why she's always felt guilty That she didn't see the signs But they were highly crafted Through dissociation for, you know It not to be obvious What I was going through And then my father He was also same capacity In the military, pretty much He went into more like Occupational therapy and stuff So that's where he ended up After they retired When I was seven Was working with a hand surgeon Dr. Madden in Tucson Who was actually my first Regular trafficking assignment When we moved there So him also History of family abuse And alcoholism It's hard to know Because I don't really talk to that side Of my family much more Especially since I've been in healing Like how far back The abuse is gone But essentially him And his younger brother Who I've filed a police report on You know, tried exposing this stuff Like early on in my healing With the right channels I guess if you want to look at it that way Basically, you know Like all of them were In my experience Were pedophiles It was part of their Seems like adolescence And then into adulthood So my handler Main handler Was definitely really high up In the military But I'm not exactly sure How they hooked up Other than You know, it was the 80s My dad's main jam His main fetish You know, was snuff pornography And obviously To get a hold of that Pre-internet age You had to Insert yourself Into the right circles To get that kind of Very illegal material Right, right Yeah And I think that's What's so crazy to people Is We Probably believe These things go on But we never really See them get busted open And they seem so insulated And a lot of times The conspiracy culture Focuses on the highest rung Of the hierarchical ladder But These things are going on At a pretty mundane level It's just crazy To think about how They broach These topics With other people And like Find the others In a sense Because it is so Dark and nasty Have you looked at The history of your family Have you looked at Your grandparents Or great-grandparents How far back Does this kind of Behavior go Within your bloodline It's really hard to know Other than You know Just knowing on My mom's side For sure You know Like incest Was something That happened Generationally One of her brothers Ended up being A pedophile And a murderer Actually he killed His husband Which was really tragic And then My father's side You know My father My grandfather He was in the Elks lodge So he was in You know Somewhat of Like a little society I've tried doing Some research Basically to look Back on My family line Just as far as Like bloodline stuff Too Because that was One of the titles I had been given During programming And for my roles Within this Occult crime network Basically Was that I was Deemed a Habsburg unicorn Along with two Other women Girls You know At the time That were being Programmed So I've never Really known To be honest I do have a lot Of German In my bloodline But I've never Really known If that's A bloodline Connection I have Or that my Main handler If it's a Connection that He had And then Therefore I was Kind of given That title Based off of That But no I mean It's something That I would Love to learn More about But it's also Something that's Really difficult Unless people Are willing to Talk that you Can have Some understanding On So my Main understanding Of everything Is that you Know they Definitely came From generational Incest I'm not Sure if the Occult side of Things is Something that Was generational I know that For my Father most Of the abuse I was used In was Occult primarily Slanting towards Like the druidic Side of things When it came to Rituals and my Father himself Had been raised Mexican even Though he was A pedophile and A murderer he Still considered Himself catholic So he kind of Had like a Side eye and Looked down on Some of the More ritual Participation stuff That I was in You know he Wasn't a believer Like my man Handler kind of Always looked down On him for And kind of Was implied that That was a lot Of why he Didn't himself Like advance Much higher In the organization Basically is Because he Didn't really Have the Hierarchical More occult Illuminati Type beliefs So the system That I was Kind of trained To be a Participant in But yeah I would love To learn more About it Unfortunately It's something That I haven't Had many Avenues to Do that Yeah so I Heard you say You were born At Walter Reed Military Hospital In DC and I Don't know a lot About its history It comes up In some Conspiratorial Stories and There was a Big neglect And abuse Scandal a few Years ago In this Building 18 That was said To be cockroach And rat infested With black mold And no heat Or running water And they Were putting Soldiers In there On monitor You know Soldiers in The hospital Apparently because There was no Security Drug dealers Started hanging Out there And it Became a Big mess And this Is just What the Washington Post Would report But clearly It's an Indication That it's a Place where They turn A blind eye Regularly There is Probably a lot Of unsavory Stuff going on So I just Thought that was Curious Do you know Much more About the Hospital Or do you Think it was Strategic that You were born There I think in Part so My parents Were stationed In Germany Prior to Moving to Washington D.C. Which is where They got stationed Next I think my dad Was definitely Already being Groomed to Have like Higher His career Track To have Higher positions And stuff He ended up Building like A hand splint For Reagan Actually post Hand surgery He was like Part of the Team Even though He designed It They didn't Mention him At all In an Article Which he Was always Incredibly hurt About that Which I Always think Is funny Because it's Just the Only things That hurt Him is Things that Hurt his Ego But in Any case When it Came to Being in Washington D.C. That's around The same Time that My handler Would have Been visiting There a Bunch as Well Because he Was Sergeant Major of The army At the time So that's Kind of The highest Position you Can have In that Branch in The army So I'm Not exactly Sure how Things worked Out there Other than Yeah it was Definitely a Strategic ritual Location I think a lot Of the times When the whole Family's been Moved to Different areas It's on a Certain level Because it Has the Had the Facilities for Training me In the roles That they had When it came To Walter Reed In particular What you said Doesn't surprise Me at all Because from My memory You know it's A very old Hospital and It was also Pretty expansive My memories Of being in That area Were actually Being my Earliest Loyalty and Sexual imprinting Programming And it was A whole little Ward basically Where it wasn't Just myself But it was Other kids As well Mostly toddlers You know we're Talking very Young that Were going Through you Know for me It was a lot Of forced Orgasm type Stuff which Is really Horrible but A lot of it Was conditioned To seeing My future Handler's face Prior to Me actually Even meeting Him So there Was a lot Of imprinting And conditioning There and a lot Of like I said Like there was At least four Or five other Kids and it Was like a Designated little Area basically It's like it Had a play Room It had You know Several Hospital type Rooms So it was Like its own Little wing Where essentially You know the Nurses and Doctors were All participating In this Pedophilic Activity So that's All I would Say you know With that And then also When it came To eventually I would have A role of Channeling or Like oracle Type use In rituals And stuff And that Induction was Also very Early so We're talking About two To three Years old Basically And the Main ritual That I went Through with That which I'm more than Happy to Go over It is really Hard to hear So trigger Warning for People and Everything but It was like An underground Shrine you Might say But massive Columns it Looked like Something out Of Babylon or Sumeria and It was enough To house Probably Looked like Over a hundred People that Were there Attending the Ritual that I was brought To and They essentially Sacrificed three Little girls That were my Age prior to Announcing that I was going To be having That role Next and Then went Through like I said I'm Like I can Get into what Went into that Ritual as Far as they Put you after Witnessing this Stuff into some Near death Stuff there's a Lot of horrible Crossing of wires Of being Presented to All these People all Black robes Of course by Essentially like A bunch of Females that Was kind of What I was Going to be in The future Part of like A coven type Situation as Being you know A channel for The goddess and Being all these Different things you Know so they're Kind of pumping You up as you Know there's all This stuff that You should feel Proud of that You're chosen for And everything but All it means Really is that You're going to Have a life of Abuse near-death Experiences to Really imprint and Connect you with Your occult role And that was Underneath I don't Know if it was Underneath Capitol Hill it's like I Remember passing Washington Monument And stuff like That but it was Underneath essentially Some governmental Buildings is where This was located so I think a lot of That kind of went Into what role I Had been chosen for And probably why we Ended up there Specifically in Washington DC also Like I said Proximity to my Handler because he Was frequenting Washington DC when He had that Position Wow so let me Ask you this when It comes to Oracle use Obviously it's Really sad that Kids would be Traumatized and Fractured to be Used as an Instrument in this Way but I think So many people are Still unsure what The spirit world Is and how we Are connected to It do you Remember any Material that Was channeled or Any beings that Were attempted to Be channeled by Name in these Situations One thing that I Try and talk a lot About in my Testimony because It's just what I Personally had Experienced you Know was that When you're Dealing with this Level of abusers The ones that see Themselves as part Of not like Some small Satanic coven You know but Essentially like Saw themselves as Part of the group That controlled the World and forgive me For like I don't Necessarily subscribe To this but I Mean we're dealing With psychopaths and They're completely Narcissistic so this Is the interpretation They had of Themselves that When it comes to More Mariah or Illuminati type Thought in my Experience at least They don't Necessarily subscribe To one deity It's kind of Pantheistic it's Usually going to Be multiple and It's more about Archetypes so Even though what I was seen as Channeling was a Very specific Archetype and she Had multiple names Like Ishtar Hecate Artemis to a Degree that Essentially Babylon how they Interpreted it was The powerful thing Was the archetypes And that these Archetypal forces Had had different Names throughout History so they Didn't necessarily Subscribe to we're Just following Greco-Roman stuff Or we're just Following Babylonian Stuff that basically They saw these as Overarching forces That as they Interact with Humanity have Different names So that was my Experience with it Is that you Definitely had Different parts that Were created to be Very specific to Different rituals Depending on what Particular coven you Were being trafficked To but the Initial one wasn't Necessarily geared Towards one Goddess you know it Was more about like A template that was Supposed to be Expressed through all These different Goddess incarnations And it was pretty Much just about Magic sex and Violence so it's Like that kind of Huntress black Mother the dark Side of womanhood You know kind of Archetype Yeah yeah that Makes sense I mean It jives with other Things that I've Heard I remember Grey basically Saying that in His situation it Seemed like they Were cosmic or Spiritual fishermen They were just Throwing out lines And seeing if they Could get something And it's sad that You have to do so Much dark stuff to Even make an Attempt but do you Remember any Material that came Through clearly this Is important to them They put a lot of Attention and Investment of their Time and energy Into affecting kids In this way to Make them better At receiving messages Do you remember Any messages that Were received I'll be honest Like not really I can remember a Lot of times the Switch into that Part but most of The time trying to Like interpret it With my understanding Of stuff is that My front side is Still a child Basically and the Things that they're Asking are typically About and this Would usually be a Yearly thing that This part was Called up for it Would be for people That had questions About business or About an enemy to Where for me Every single time I can remember up To the point of The switch of this Channeling and That's where I am Very honest when I Tell people I don't Necessarily believe in The truth of this A hundred percent As far as whether Or not I was Actually connecting To an outside Entity or if it's Through putting you Into this altered State that's connecting With the other side If you're just able To connect yourself Into Akashic record Type stuff I'm not entirely sure With that first ritual And that's what all The other ones were Templated after You know kind of Echoed after they Sacrifice the girls And they sent all Of the onlookers Essentially on their Way they've seen The ceremony and Everyone's probably Heading up stairs For in my experience Usually like a Cocktail party That it was just me And the coven Type individuals The women that Were in this Capacity of priestess And I got brought To the other end Of the room where There was like a Stone sarcophagus That had a couple Feet of water in it And they put some Of the blood from The altar in that Water and I Myself at the Beginning of the Ritual had been Kind of bound up Almost like a Mummy to where It's like I had Had a lot of Linen wrapped Around me so It was just my Head showing and What they would do For this initial Connection you know Facilitating this Initial connection With the outside and This is where I feel Like too for sure Not everyone's going To survive this so That is part of All of these Training scenarios Is like okay Are you going to Survive it and Are you going to Be able to Dissociate the Information and Have a somewhat Normal seeming Front personality To where they'll Continue the abuse Because they know They can get away With it and that You're capable as Well as being able To perform these Roles so for me They positioned me On the edge of The sarcophagus and Then had a couple Ropes under me and Would lower me down Into the water to The point where it's Like you can't Breathe you're Under water you Feel like you're Drowning and at The edge of Blacking out they Would lift me back Out of the water And then they Would rapid fire Start asking me All these questions Which as a Three-year-old There's like no Way I would have Any ability to Know what it is They're asking me And my normal Response which is Normal for a kid Would be you know You're crying you're Freaking out you Almost drowned and Then as soon as That was my reaction To their question Asking they would Dunk me back into The water And this happened I'm not sure Exactly how many Multiple times Where every time They come up They're asking me Questions they're Not getting what They want they Dunk you back in At one point With one of the Dunks when I was Laying there It was a Complete dissociation Where it's like All my fear Left me and my Eyes snapped open Underwater and I Just glared at Like I couldn't Believe you know Like how dare They do this And essentially That time that They pulled me Up I was able To respond to What they said And at that Point they Immediately like Hauled me out of The water Wrapped a big Blanket around me And sat me on This weird little Throne type thing To the side of The sarcophagus Where they Began you know Asking me more Questions and Transcribing stuff But one thing That I am honest With is that This state It did feel Completely other To my own Consciousness And accessing Any sort of Memory of what Went on in Those specific States has not Been something that I've been able To do yet in Healing I'm not Sure if it's Something I ever Will because maybe There is some Genuine truth to This kind of stuff But I know it Was good enough You know that They essentially Continued to do This especially After I moved to Tucson at seven It was like a Yearly thing where They would you Know have a Sacrifice have a Bowl of water in Front of me that A couple of Acolytes would Like dunk my Head into and It would trigger The same switch And then same Thing it's like I Would be seated On a throne and Then the people That had been There to dedicate Their infants to The cult would Then have like Quote unquote paid The price To come and Ask me questions I guess the only Other detail too There is like Is just that When my eyes Would snap open I wasn't like Physically seeing So I don't know If they were like Rolled back in my Head that's kind Of the input That I've gotten But I would Also not blink So they would Put like a wet Cloth basically Over my eyes When I was Playing this Sage or oracle Type role for Ceremonies So maybe not The information You were looking For but that's What I have Essentially from My experiences Wild So the part Where you say That you feel Like your alters Or your fronts So the fractured Parts are still Like a child That to me Is a big hit With what other People say I've heard People talk About the fact That some of Their tendencies And behaviors Are reflective Of when they Were very young And felt unsafe And not even In a really Traumatic way But even if You're just Finding your Way in school Trying to find Your place In the social Hierarchy And trying to Fit in with Other kids Like you might Develop certain Survival mechanisms That you carry On into adulthood And a lot of Soul-centered healing Or this kind Of esoteric Spiritual healing Is talking to Prior parts Of yourself And you say Hey I know You're a scared Kid You're just Trying to get Through the day These things Are happening To you You know I'm a lot Older now How old Do you think I am And like The parts Of yourself Will talk Back and say I don't know 12 Like no I'm almost 40 years old We're almost 40 And then like You can actually Heal by talking To Parts of Yourself I find it Strange But that Comes up All the time Especially when Talking to like Psychiatrists doing This work So just You saying That To me I don't know We're trying To vet a story You know If it sounds Legit And to me That sounds Legit But to Back up a Little bit We could go Into individual Stories and get Quite deep But just broadly For people Listening Talk about The range Of things You had To witness Or were Forced to Participate in I mean You said Your father Liked Snuff porn You mentioned This sarcophagus Ritual But you saw From my Understanding Bestiality Cannibalism Gang Rape Kids Forced to Eat Feces Witnessing Murder And sacrifice I mean These are Just some Of the Things That I Wrote down Listening To hours Of you Talk In sixth Grade You were Trafficked To someone Who later Became The mayor Of Tucson He was On his Way Out Actually On his Way Out Okay Wow The cannibalism Thing I understand This was A hunting Party A human Hunting Party Ritual Talk to us About that Because that's Probably the Thing people Hear least About So the Training was Really Multifaceted A lot Of like The early Training Was in A kennel When I Was living In Texas And the Day would Be split Up into Different Parts Into Different Kinds Of Training So what I was Trained In from A if You want To look At like A military NWO Standpoint Was Trained to Have wolf And dog Type Altars Thus The kennel That I Was being Trained at That would Typically Come into Play when It came To human Hunting Events If that's Something that I myself Was going To be Participating In and I've always Lived in Border areas So it was Pretty much 99% of Time Almost every Time I Can remember We're talking About like Legal aliens Or people That they Themselves got From coyotes But when it Came to The cannibalism Like yes That's going To factor In there's A lot Of dehumanization When you're Creating animal Parts in a Person That gets You to Identify with The predator And you Know not With the Human beings But when it Came to The occult Side of Things That was My primary Role so The other Part of The day At the Kennel Would be Very much Devoted to Me doing Occult style Training where My main Role that I Had been Trained in You know the Oracle thing Was something I Did maybe Like once a Year but When I Was trafficked Regularly Throughout the Year it Was more About being Trained in The capacity To be an Occult butcher And executioner And that's Why I was Trafficked to Many different Rituals and Covens is like They might have A sacrifice Ritual but They might not Have someone Within their Group that Is trained in Butchery Trained in Essentially you Know how to Use the knife How to do This kind of Stuff basically How to break Down a carcass Whether you're Talking about Animal or People so A lot of My time in The kennel And this Event I Think you're Referring to Happened during That stay That I had There which Was probably Over a week Or so That the Whole purpose For me was It was just a Training event But in General it Was the Hunt and Occult type Situation for All the People that Were involved There were A lot of Areas around There kind Of in like This hilly Country in Texas where You could Have acres Of land Surrounding a Manor and It was like A training Event where Basically this Woman who Also herself Identified as Artemis was In her late Teens early Twenties had Me shadow Her and Then be Part of a Butchery type Tent to Where I was Learning the Skills of How to Dismember Animals and Also prior to That in The kennel I had had a Lot of Experience with Cadavers to Where they Would bring In people That were Dead already And just Be giving You lessons On which Knife to Use which Cuts to Make etc You know if They requested Something specific Off of the Body you Need to know Where to Find organs And you Need to Know how To like Separate Muscles so With that Particular event You know at A certain Point we Were butchering A bunch Of game Animals it Was like Deer Rabbit that Kind of Thing but Eventually what Did come Through is Earlier in That event There had Been a Little boy That was There that Was drugged And out of It he Was only Other kid Other than Myself but He got Taken off to Essentially be Hunted by This party Of wealthy People and Then later Showed up on The butchering Block for Her to teach Me you Know how To dismember Someone like That and Then was Later presented To an Outside area Of tables Where it's You know it's Very highly Decorated and Stuff that's Why all this Is very absurd To me is Because just Like I had A role as Butcher for Ceremonies they Must have had People that were Interior decorators You know or in This case exterior Decorators that Were putting all The decorations on The table and Arranging them You know and Doing seating Plans and Stuff like that Like I laugh Because it feels Absurd you know To think about That being a Factor in the Way some people Choose to live Their lives I Guess Right right it Is weird and I Always wonder that Myself is the Cult stuff just Ritual theater to Justify the Depraved behavior Or is it really Part of us Spiritual belief System it seems Like it is part Of a druidic Tradition of some Kind because you Are doing actual Channeling the Story that I was Referring to I Believe is maybe The same one but There was a Situation where your Handler cut the Nipple off of I Think a girl maybe A boy and ate it And encouraged other People to do the Same yes so that Happened in the same Time frame in the Kennel training Period that was Just training the Hunter wolf type Parts in myself so There was nothing Occult at all in This situation it Was really just About physically Training and there Were two other Boys that were also Being trained at the Same time as me but Just physically Training us how to Like quote unquote Work like a pack And to initiate our First field kill we Had been doing a Lot of training with Rabbits and cats that Were on the kennel Grounds to teach us Hunting techniques Stalking tracking and Being able to work as A pack or like a Team in this Capacity and every Series of training Always has like a Kind of a pen Ultimate moment or Like a graduation Moment where it's Like we've been Doing all this Preparatory stuff now This is the real Deal or something so That for us was being Taken you know in Military vehicles because The two boys also had Their own handlers as Well and all of us Driving out essentially Even more into like the Middle of some scrub Land and meeting a Coyote type person Someone who is in the Business of bringing Kids and people across The border from Mexico And he handed over to My handlers a little Girl and two little Boys and you'll Notice I was a Little girl with two Boys so what they do Is it's part of the Dehumanization you know Is that they bring in Often kids of the Same age to have the Violence enacted on Them for two reasons For one it's really Going to solidify the Dehumanization in your Own head because You're going to be like Well this is not Something I want to Identify with because Being a little girl Or a little boy means That you go through This horrible stuff The other factor is Just that you have to Have people that are Like matched to your Own physical ability So with these kids you Know they got them from The coyote they told Them to run that they Could be free you know And these kids were Like literally in their Like pajamas very afraid Definitely kidnapping Victims I don't know where They came from but you Know there's two tiers of Slaves there's throwaways And then there's Assets so people like Me are considered an Asset you're going to Put a lot of time and Energy into training me To have a lot of Skills but then also Into making sure that I Can dissociate all of That and maintain a Normal front life so That they can pull me Out of that life at Will to go do this Stuff and then put me Back into it without Alerting people to This is what's going On so kids like this Were literally just Kidnapped for this kind Of scenario and with This scenario the whole Point was that they set The kids free with the Express intention knowing That it's for us it was Like a training event Where we were supposed To be in our wolf parts We were trained to find Them and then return Them to the handlers so We were able to find the Two little boys fairly Quickly and they Experienced a lot of Sexual abuse by the Handlers and then the Little girl took a Little bit longer to Find but eventually and That's a lot of a lot Of healing as a Survivor is dealing with Self-forgiveness because Even though I was like Five at the time when You learn about this Stuff and look back on It's like you do feel Like you know that part Of you felt older or Like they were more in Control of the situation That they were in even Though you know there Had been a lot of Torture that had gotten Me into that point but Regardless it's like they Didn't just train us with Hunting skills it was Also with tact you know So now trying to talk To this little girl who Didn't speak English you Know but be very once I Find her be very kind and Welcoming and just like You know it's okay like You're gonna be okay we'll Run away together or Something like that just To get her to like come Out of her hiding spot just So that I could take her Back to the handlers who Then raped her then we Were encouraged to be part Of the killing of her Essentially where Had his hand over her Mouth and nose but they Put a knife in me and the Two little boys hands and Encouraged us to stab her To death and then post This he cut off her nipple Ate it and then did the Same to us is another step Of traumatizing us and Getting us to really double Down on that identity of Like I'm a wolf I see People as prey it's not Something I have to have Any emotion about and it Was very much not just the Hunting act but that act As well was very much There as part of the Training event to solidify In our minds you know that There's no turning back you Might as well be forever Part of this criminal Organization you're one of Them Very insane very wild and Of course I get nervous when We name names because I Don't know I only know What you said and we Barely know each other but This guy I've looked him Up he's still alive he was In the military he's in His 80s now I also looked Up the Reagan thing so in 1989 Reagan did have Surgery you can actually go To the presidential library Documents reaganlibrary.gov it Shows you all the times that A person had some kind of Medical procedure and in 1989 Reagan did have a Elective surgery to correct A dupintrine contracture of His left hand his ring finger Performed at Walter Reed Army Medical Center so I mean this Kind of checks out to say Your dad made a splint for Reagan and what's also Interesting when you look at This history of his medical Procedures they almost Always say who it was Performed by I'm looking At maybe eight different Things and they all say who It was performed by except For this one so I thought That was interesting because You said your dad had a Chip on his shoulder about Not being given credit for This situation so it stuck Out to me so I guess Something to try to hit While we're still in this First hour is it seems so Absolute and I always come to This point where I know this Stuff goes on but I struggle With individual whistleblowers And personal testimony because It seems so ironclad and Absolute I struggle to Understand how a person gets Out of this situation they've Invested this time and money in You this guy is out there still Alive you are programmed to be In a master slave relationship With someone how do they just Let that go how do you get Out talk to us about that Because you don't seem any Older than me you seem younger Than me and I'm almost 40 I Was born in 1985 we're talking About Reagan surgery 1989 what Age were you when you got away And how did you get away were There attempts to recapture you These sorts of things I want to Know about that transition from This terrible life to a Regular life definitely yeah I'm 88 just when I was born so yeah I'm gonna be 37 next month so There's steps to it in general They do just let people go when They're not as long as they Don't consider them a threat then Generally they do just let people Go that have had really crazy Trafficking backgrounds a lot of Times mainly because they go Through a lot of effort in the Programming creating parts that Will send you on a self-destructive Path if at any point they trigger Them which they do you know if You're on your way out of the Coal out of your usefulness for Them so most people get lost in Addiction suicidality you know all The things that you can imagine That on a certain level is natural Because you went through all of This stuff so you have the most Insane PTSD you can imagine and a Lot of times you know it is Self-medicated through addiction and So I can only speak to my own Experience but I did go through This once when I was a sophomore In college I had been used regularly Up until this point when I was 20 the Goal was to kind of step me up to Like a more priestess type role at That point I was dealing with a lot More use being taken to these Rituals and performing in these Butcher type roles but essentially I Had a break at one point during a Ritual it was a pregnant woman another Immigrant or illegal you know it's Like a Mexican girl and at a certain Point in that ritual it's weird because In general it's like I was always in Tunnel vision with what I was doing It's like you feel almost like a Tool like you don't even really have A consciousness other than Following step by step what's Expected of you or you're not Really thinking about it too much But I made eye contact with her and I totally it broke me out of that Part to where I couldn't continue Doing what I was doing but they Also have a lot of like punishment Programming basically so because I Was disobeying what I was supposed to Do in that time I started feeling Like I had just had acid dumped on My whole body so I just started Screaming and freaking out and my Handler was insanely upset you know Because the thing he couldn't stand Above anything was being embarrassed He bundled me into the car drove me Off to Davis-Monthan Air Force Base Which is where a lot of the Programming I had undergone went once I had moved to Tucson and then they Put down all this shutdown programming To like kind of reinforce these walls In my head that I'm not going to Access all of the occult stuff that I'm not going to access what I would Say is the other part of my system so Someone like me has multiple systems Layered and there's a whole system That's on the backside that's buried Underneath a lot of front life stuff That deals with all of this Knowledge that they don't want to leak Out they don't want these skills to Leak out in your day-to-day life so They did a lot of things to bury all Of that and to trigger the self-destruct Stuff so they essentially let me go at That point I mean I was already an Alcoholic in my front life from Trying to self-medicate with this stuff And at that point they pretty much were Narcissists and psychopaths are very Self-assured you know so there's a lot Of times where they just feel like oh There's no way that I'm going to Deal with any repercussions this person So stupid there's no way she's ever Going to find her way out of this box That hubris on a certain level is what Is going to be their downfall and is In my case and people like me so I did Spiral after that into more Alcoholism more depression more all of That stuff but this is where you know The positive force in life comes you Know can call it you know spirituality or God or whatever your name is for it you Know is that at a certain point when I Was 24 I got sober 23 actually and in Taking that crutch out of my life they Do keep tabs on you but you have to Understand this is somewhat easy for Them because my dad who I still Continue to have contact with at that Time you know he was still in my life You know my aunt who was another Handler the wife of the uncle I Mentioned she was still in my life the Uncle I mentioned still in my life so There's all these people there to like Keep an eye out if things are going to Get weird Well now you're doing interviews about These people in these situations so Oh yeah yeah I know I mean this is the Only way I can get any form of justice Because I've tried approaching the Justice system and I've been convinced It's not until we get a massive change In public opinion that we're going to Have any accountability in the actual Justice system well let me ask you this About the justice part because I know You say you've been in therapy for many Years rightfully so does your therapist Encourage you to pursue criminal charges Are they maybe I think sometimes obligated To report these sorts of crimes that even Just hypothetically if you were trying To pursue justice you would need some Evidence have you thought about what That evidence could be because I could Understand that a lot of times these Things happen when we're young in a Pre-internet world free camera phone World it might be hard to get evidence But if you had an opportunity for Justice could you produce any evidence At all of any of these situations and What does your therapist say about Actually doing something My initial therapist didn't have a lot Of opinion on that he was very helpful When I was dealing with all of the Incest and trafficking memories and Stuff I'm still not convinced that he Wasn't planted there in my life you know To like to make sure that of me not Crossing certain boundaries or to keep an Eye on things because on a certain level You have to understand when people like Me do make it out they also kind of Just want to study you you know they Want to understand how it is you're Making your way out so that they can Foolproof their programming or Anticipate things for other people They're programming essentially so he Had no opinion about it he was my Therapist when I did report the incest Being trafficked to my uncle kind of Testing the waters to see if I would be Believed and at a low level I was you Know I got a lot of sympathy but as Soon as I hit the detective area for My next interview a whole bunch of Shady shit went down he was in the Mode of trying to intimidate and Suppress me from the beginning I had my A sponsor with me to be like my advocate In the room and he told me she couldn't Be in there otherwise the testimony was Inadmissible I asked for a victim Advocate because I'm gonna be alone in The room with this male detective and Stuff and he essentially told me that They didn't have them there which is Complete I've come to find you know is Complete bullshit but you're very Conditioned to respect authority when You've gone through these things and I'm Very easily intimidated he probably Listened to what I had to say for less Than 10 minutes you know and pretty much The whole time was just kind of trying To like belittle what I was saying and Like intimidate me to where it did Trigger a younger part in myself where I just walled off and then petered out On what I was saying and I tried Contacting him afterwards to be like Hey I'm 100% sure my dad has child Pornography on his computer at his house Most likely these snuff films as well it's Not something that he was spent any time Away from in my experience you know but They are just like there's not enough Evidence for us to go search him so Whether or not that's true who knows When I opened the case up there he was Also in Bexer County in Texas where I Dealt with a lot of this abuse but it's The same thing like I can't even imagine What the proof would be other than Myself finding some of the filmed stuff Which there was a lot of that a ton of It but you're in this catch-22 but even As a victim of this stuff is like if you Possess it then it's very easy for you if You're trying to bring it to them as Evidence then they're just gonna say that You had snuff pornography on you you know so Unfortunately yeah I didn't have too much When it came I mean I still don't that's Really why I do appreciate Gray's effort Because as survivors there's not much Physical evidence that we're ever gonna Have to support the stories their Experiences that we went through other Than when you start having this blindly Corroborating information and stuff to Where it's not people that are colluding Obviously but people they're all sharing Their individual assertions about these People and these events and these Locations and then showing that there is Enough people that are there to you know But I mean realistically what does any Rape victim or anyone have unless they've Gotten a rape kit you know it's just your Word against theirs and like I was saying Earlier with the shutdown programming they're Pretty much always going to be in positions Where they're classic psychopath very Charming very high positions in society you Know very respected and then you have this Person that has mental health issues and Often problems with addiction or different Stuff like that who's coming to accuse Them and they just are gonna be like who You're gonna believe you know I know I know it definitely seems difficult And there are certain types of evidence that Are hard to even hold and turn into someone By the nature of it's like a hot potato you Just you're like I didn't touch this I Don't know nothing about it I'm not gonna Turn it in I'm gonna burn it it is kind of Weird in that regard and I've even thought Like how crazy can those laws get can you Get in trouble of having pictures of Yourself naked like if your parents have An old photo of you in a bathtub can you Get in trouble having a photo of yourself I Think if they wanted to get you in trouble They probably could you know right it is Weird like this is not even a very savory Thought but like could you sell pictures Of your own self to someone who wants that Kind of stuff it's like you should be able To it's your own body it's you didn't take The picture it gets weird but I think a lot Of families and photo albums have pictures That are innocent but technically illegal to Have so when it comes to evidence I would Think like do you have marks on your body I Mean that is hard to exactly prove where It came from but you know where these sites Are in some regards you could go there and Expose a site take video or picture evidence Take gray there and be like look look at This altar look at this lodge where I was Taken this military base this back corner of It's those sorts of things hypothetically I Mean I'm not even saying she should put Yourself in that kind of danger if it's taken This much time in your life you probably Should just live as good a life as you can From here on but if you wanted to produce More evidence how would you go about it do You think you could take gray to certain Locations that you still know where they are That would be really difficult at least in My personal experience because I was so young When I was at the kennel for example that Other than knowing that it's outside of San Antonio Texas I couldn't begin to point at Where it is and I was trained a lot in a Bunker there as well but the amount of Security you know that that exists there for One it's designed to blend in with the Landscape so to not be easily seen but even If you could there's no way you're getting Through those elevator doors unless you're Supposed to be there and in Tucson so I Was dealing always with wealthy people so Private residences this is often on people's Land that they have their own altars for Sites that they use that's not accessible For someone like myself a lot of times they Have cushioning as far as amount of land Around them and then military bases like Fort Huachuca was where I was for most of My life because they were monitoring and Keeping tabs on me it's a military Intelligence base that I had been to a few Times most of the time that was davis month And air force base in Tucson though and When you talk about the security you're Looking at trying to explain why you know Even if you get a day pass going to this Random building other than just the Structures being there the likelihood 15 Years later they would have all of the same Facilities there or with me coming out you Know it's like the likelihood they would Still be in use to me is not super high but The ability of accessing it is just really Difficult and then sometimes they are just Completely public places you know like there Was a time the air and space museum that I Went to or the kartschner caverns ritual that I went to you can easily actually pull up Pictures of the throne room in kartschner Caverns I was curious about that so I did Hear you talk about that but it was hard to Make out can you spell it for me kartschner Caverns is k-a-r-t-c-h-n-e-r so if you Look at where they do their like little And light show and stuff like that it is Just like we see with a lot of these Locations you're going to have an Amphitheater stone benches small area in Front essentially that's the one that I Was trafficked to he's deceased now the Ex-mayor of Tucson George Miller and so Basically you know I was taken out of School for that event and that's one Thing that you know I have a little bit You know these are all like anecdotal Things that line up you learning about The hand surgery or like for myself you Know I could find news articles that Were talking about the opening of Kartschner caverns because that was the Excuse my dad had to pull me out of School that day to be part of that Ritual was that I was supposed to be Very excited and honored because through Dr. Madden he knew all these important People and essentially before Kartschner Caverns had been opened to the public There had been a group of people Politicians wealthy people etc that had Been invited to this pre-opening viewing And ceremony and everything and that's The event that I was actually trafficked To so they have like they do have an Event there for the media to take Pictures and you know to announce we're Having this previewing of this park that Is going to be open to the public you Know and that was something that that I Was able to like easily corroborate Online you know it's just when I was in Sixth grade there was this opening of Kartschner cavern and I attended it with Big name people but that the second half Of that event was something that was Completely an occult ritual that took Place within the cavern and then later That year Miller was actually on his way Out of office so he had been the mayor of Tucson it was kind of in his last few Weeks where the other guy had been Elected but he was like on his way out Of that position is when this event Happened so he attended the Kartschner Cavern opening but yeah I mean that's A place that you know even since then It's like I in pre-memory returning it's Like when I understand why I have some Panic attack stuff there because I'm not Typically claustrophobic it's like places Where people you know are visiting and They go it's like an insanely large cave System it's very majestic and it's a place That people frequent all the time but it Does have these stone amphitheater like we See a lot of places you know and it's got Another use to it Indeed I just looked it up they do have a Area called the throne room pretty wild Very dark stuff I appreciate you sharing All this with us I hope it's cathartic I Hope some people listening perhaps get Something out of it when it comes to Weighing their own personal experiences and It's pretty amazing that you were able to Reclaim your life very fortunate that you Have skills as an artist and pretty Appropriate for you to specialize in cover-up Tattoos now because I feel like that's Oftentimes a lot of people trying to Erase something from their past that They don't love but let people know where They can find your YouTube channel any Other things you have going on or see The work you do at battleship tattoo in Sierra Vista Arizona so actually that's Very outdated ah I actually had my own Studio for the past six years or so so It's probably been about six years since I worked at battleship But part of me Maintaining some autonomy through all of This healing has been my being pretty Under the radar I haven't done a lot so People knew how to find me I always Spoked out I've recently switched Careers to get out of that area because It's a military town but I never had any Need to advertise basically like I was I was very fortunate to have a very Successful practice for the past six Years I had my own gallery my own tattoo Studio apprentice who's now a tattoo Artist herself but I really don't have Many places for people to connect with Me for that reason I have a professional Page for the tattooing on Instagram in In general I try and keep myself pretty isolated and Insulated from outside influence because you know the Reality is is attempted triggers happened a lot Before I moved that's why I moved was because it was Becoming a frequent thing you know was dealing with Handlers showing up at my work and in the guise of Clients and stuff and even my assistant was like uh what is With all of these weirdos showing up and I'm like uh well you Know why so so I essentially chose to make myself less Accessible so I decided to hang up my tattoo machine for the Time being to essentially flee you know into like a safer Area and off the grid area a much more insulated spiritual Community that's been very healing the only place that I Really refer people to to connect with me is going to be just My youtube channel it's desert dakini a survivor's perspective on YouTube I hope to kind of be relocating that to rumble and Then also to mark past you as one great network in due time just To have other avenues for it because youtube's a bag of dicks and They just are horrible at censoring stuff but I also just refer People to other people's podcasts that I've been on your podcast I Recommended for years but the imagination podcast is where I Like to send most people to the one that gray's wife does it's Really unique she has hundreds of survivor testimonies that you Know I'm like don't just listen to my own you can listen to the Roundtables but I've probably done I don't even know maybe six Seven eight episodes on her channel and wake the dead with sean mccann I'm, usually a regular on there our next episode is going to be going into the nitty-gritty of programming landscapes and scripts that the survivor typically has internally That's pretty much the only place is my youtube channel I think I used to have an etsy. I don't even have that now. So I'm, really happy just being very off the grid i'll be honest Yeah, I mean you've been through enough right let's have a nice quiet life Slow down a little bit but man. Thanks for sharing. I'm sure it's not easy to do I can't believe That these other folks have shows that are just doing this week after week after week because it would just be too much for me I dip my toe in then I gotta go do something completely unrelated like electroculture or something but Man, I just I can't believe it wild, but i'm glad that you are living a good life now and that you have found happiness Take care and be well Thank you. You too, greg Okay, what a ride with the hapsburg unicorn herself very dark stuff on the thc table today And I don't even know what to think really her stories about her experiences pretty much cover the full range of disgusting abuse in all forms I mean anyone who's listening to this show for a while would have to agree that this is the most extreme Darkest wildest personal story i've probably Heard in 15 years on this show from a guest It's like what was she spared from only actual death? I suppose Hard to imagine one person could even go through all that and then live a halfway normal life afterwards Hmm Lucky for her. She is a talented artist Sometimes art has a connection to trauma, so who knows But she does seem to be very good at what she does And these kinds of episodes are Maybe a little rare around here, but they're always hard for me because I try to find surrounding context to support the claims A person makes when we're talking about a personal story But what are you really gonna find, you know? I peppered in a few things about how her insights into abuse do suggest that she has a solid understanding on how it actually works Based on what previous guests who work in the field of trauma recovery have said And I threw in the reagan thing just to show the timeline matches with what she said about her father's work So what are we to do? We know a lot of abuses happen where accountability doesn't exactly make it through the justice system But I guess we have to just say that any claims that carrie makes are claims and or allegations Until that justice system is engaged if it ever will be Now let's address the elephant in the room I actually had a long, agonizing internal struggle all week over if I should remove the name of her handler from the interview And obviously at this point, we all know that I did In most of her previous interviews that I'd heard, she uses the pseudonym Smeagol And when that wasn't happening in this interview And instead we got first, middle, and last name I thought, well, fuck it, let's go And then I went back and forth on this every day since it was recorded And let it eat up basically all of my mental energy And at the last moment this morning, I folded to my fears And I took the name out I apologize to Carrie for taking that away from her I hope she's not too frustrated with my decision But I ultimately thought, to the listeners What does it add to get the exact name of her handler? This isn't a public person It's not a media figure or a name anyone would truly know Outside of personal and career military circles So it felt like it doesn't really add anything for the listener But yet it does expose me quite a bit And her too It's not unheard of that guilty people who think they're beyond accountability Will come at victims sometimes She's a parent too I don't want to potentially impact her life Because of her just maybe being a little too open about her experiences So I guess I just wasn't willing to take the risk in this instance Everything is a case-by-case basis And I'm sure I'll get a little bit of heat But I would challenge you to put yourself in the same position And do something different And if you're dying to know the man's name She will probably tell you And based on what she said today She has other recent interviews where the name is said I will link her tattoo artist Instagram for anyone interested And you can take it from there For those who only heard the first free hour The Plus Show of course adds even more To the troubling stack of her former life We talked about the sophistication of the abuse The testing of her psi abilities at the aquarium That was a very interesting story We talked about survivor networks And things that she's heard from other people And their personal stories And a little bit about entity attachments And all that kind of stuff Become a Plus member to get the full two-hour-long version Of all the interviews I do And that said, let's look at the review for the last show I don't even know if I want to see it Early on, it was very low The only show I can remember being under a three But let's see where it settled Oof, 3.2 Man One of the worst reviewed THC episodes I can remember Jaron Campanella is not a popular guy right now And again, the 3.2 is hard to interpret Did you just come away from it being like Eh, fuck this guy for going back on the flat earth Did you think the whole thing was a waste of your time Or were you entertained but just Couldn't follow his logic There's all kinds of possibilities Maybe some people wish I had handled it differently It is hard to know But I guess I will just leave that story alone From now on Although I still have questions about Will Duffy But anyway Let's hope this one is a little better received Although I have a feeling it won't be Because these sorts of shows do seem to be the ones that are Hardest to see high ratings on Let's just say that Maybe they're just too dark That wouldn't be hard to believe at all But you be the judge And on to the meetup calendar It's been light But it looks like we got at least A couple new ones here April 20th, 4.20 Tomorrow Didn't even realize 4.20 and Easter Fell on the same day this year I don't know if it means I'm going to be doing anything differently But it is good to know But there is a meetup tomorrow April 20th in New York, New York At the Standard Beer Garden And then one on April 26th The following Saturday At Bisbee Social Club in Bisbee, Arizona Oh my god I wonder if Doug Stanhope's coming through We can only hope, right? Fingers crossed Sunday, April 27th Marjorie Adams Wildlife Sanctuary In Springfield, Illinois Interesting As I was reading that I was like This name sounds familiar That is because I've been there And then also Sunday The 27th of April Tarpon Springs, Florida Sponge City Brewery If I wasn't going to be out of the country I would probably be there So I like it Thanks for stepping up Those who put themselves out there After my begging and pleading last week To not make me look like an idiot With an empty calendar I feel better about myself But alright, that is going to be a wrap I can't even process what we heard today And that I actually just talked to someone Who went through all that Is truly mind-boggling I know our audience I'm going to hear all sorts of opinions And there will be those Who don't believe this stuff And Okay, but you'd have to be really messed up To be lying about these sorts of experiences Either way, there will be those Who think that she is And those who think she isn't And everything in between But I thank her for her openness I hope general awareness Of how bad it can be out there for people Makes others grateful for their lives And I hope if someone is experiencing Similar darkness They feel less alone But I also gotta thank Carrie For being a THC listener for so long It's not every day That a guest is also a long-time listener I feel like that sometimes adds A layer of camaraderie somehow Though she did set herself up Outside for this interview I'm sure you heard The occasional bird and plane flying over Not my favorite situation But we do what we gotta do And I thank her all the same Alright, well That is enough internet for today As they say I'm getting out of here Your move Deranged druidic cults Pedophilic families And MKUltra programmers Your Fucking Move This darkness Up to the ace Where the dice decide to land It's just love Just be
